Partly Cloudy, 64°
Depressing local man Fred Harvey began another day in his long life in sweaty sheets this morning, again.
He had been having a dream laughing with his ex-wife in their old backyard when his alarm played that song from “Groundhog Day” and Harvey opened his eyes to find himself in his same room with stuff he did not want strewn across his uncarpeted floor illuminated by light leaking through his blackout shades that did not work.
It was only when he moved his legs a little that he realized his sheets and boxers were wet with sweat because he had slept beneath too many covers because he had been cold the night before, even though he knew better. He reported that the sheet stuck to his thighs when he tried to get out of bed. According to Harvey, he also realized that he had drooled a little.
Upon rising from his bed and getting in the shower, Harvey said he became aware that he was out of bar soap only after he had turned the knob and was already wet. While eating cereal at his kitchen counter alone, Harvey noted to himself for the third time this week that his lights were always too bright or too dim, no matter which light bulbs he used. In the office, the air conditioner beneath his desk made his feet too cold again, but “obviously a mediocre IT guy could not ask management for another desk location, obviously,” Harvey told himself out loud in the bathroom while looking into a mirror.
According to Harvey, after arriving home, enjoying the walk from his Volvo to the front door which would be the only walking he would do that day, he sat in front of recorded television and worked on his novel about the affairs of Agent Maxwell Geller and the mysteries that ensue on a cruise ship heading for South Africa, which he has been almost finished with for over five years.
Harvey fell asleep at 9 p.m. while watching a “Friends” rerun with all of his covers on, including the comforter, again.
