Sources indicate that a desperate beaver has been eyeing a local tall man.
“Look, times are tough, and I don’t see any good fucking trees around here, okay?” said the beaver, who was seen somewhere near Crew house on Tuesday.
“The other day, I bit into this stupid ‘tree’ with a rock in it, and guess what? It was made out of fucking metal,” added the beaver, whose plight starkly reveals tragic manmade change to our environment. “This is what our world has come to.”
At press time, a desperate man was eyeing a tall beaver.

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