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Emphasizing that the animals were very tall and had sharp teeth, second-grade paleontologists announced at a press conference this afternoon that dinosaurs were big and scary.
“The Velociraptor had very sharp claws and long, powerful legs,” reported seven year-old principle investigator Jimmy Smith, as he brandished a plastic model of the predator. “Should it have chosen to do so, it could definitely could have cut up other dinosaurs—of that we have no doubt.”
“And the Brontosaurus was very big—probably bigger than my house,” added six year-old Kylie Rollins while extending her arms as if to demonstrate the dinosaur’s relative size. “It only ate plants, but it could also stomp on you, which is very scary indeed.”
The researchers presented evidence of the dinosaurs’ scariness in the form of several crayon drawings of various species, some of which also featured stick-figure human beings as contrast. The researches then gave a short presentation on what they agree is their favorite dinosaur, the Spinosaurus, with one researcher, six-year old Mark Travis, dissenting.
At press time, the group was discussing whether or not the T. rex’s big teeth and mouth made it scary even though its little baby hands made it kind of funny.
