Thursday, March 22, 2018
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The Brown Noser

Disappointed Priest Thought He Would Get To Do Way More Exorcisms

Published Friday, March 9th, 2018

Explaining that he had hoped for more encounters with possessed people, friends of Father Antonio Piras confirmed that the Catholic priest expected way more exorcisms in his time as a priest.

“I thought I would have to exorcise a demon at least once a year,” explained Father Piras, who is a big fan of exorcism movies and is known to mutter latin prayers whenever he suspects people are acting strangely. “It’s not the only reason I wanted to become a priest, but it is a big one. Driving the devil out of people is something I just really looked forward to.”

“The one exorcism he did conduct wasn’t exciting,” explained Sister Catherine Maloney, who assisted. “The possessed child didn’t levitate, the demon didn’t cause the crucifixes on the walls to spin upside down. The holy water didn’t even immediately evaporate when he splashed some on the possessed. It was boring.”

“I just want to fight a demon one-on-one,” reported Father Piras. “I don’t think that’s too much to ask.”

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