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The Brown Noser

Disney Quietly Acquires Entire US Government

Published Friday, September 13th, 2019

Disney announced their acquisition of the entire United States government during a short press conference Tuesday. “Our team here at Disney is excited to collaborate with the United States to grow their geopolitical brand and broaden their media reach by integrating Disney’s resources and the U.S. government’s global hegemony,” said a representative from the California-based media conglomerate which now controls the world’s largest economy and military, as well as all 50 states, Washington, DC, and the United States’ territories. “This acquisition combines Disney’s unique creative talent and diverse portfolio of entertainment franchises — from Marvel to Mickey Mouse — with the extensive power and influence the United States exerts worldwide through its vast wealth and a military force unparalleled in human history. We’re looking forward to what we can accomplish by bringing the U.S. government into the Disney family.” The company representative concluded the press conference with an announcement of plans for a 2022 reboot of the Vietnam War.

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