Sources report that the “Do Not Press Button, Pedestrian Crossing Now Automatic” sign on Waterman and Thayer seems to be mysteriously placed right above a pressable button.

“I’m getting mixed signals here,” said Monica Abrams, having now been nervously standing at the street corner for five minutes, sweat falling down her face. “If there’s a button, why can’t I press it? Why is it there then if I can’t press it? It doesn’t make sense. It’s—it’s…why?”

“If I click it, will something happen? Like—will it change something?” asked Abrams five minutes later, pretending to ignore the perfectly round and shiny huge button just asking to be pressed. “Then why does it make a sound? I just…I’m a bit lost here, I mean.”

At press time, “Do Not Pull, Fire Alarm Will Sound” sign was plastered on perfectly pullable lever.

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