According to area woman Kathy Parsons, local medical practitioner Peter Alden wants to know if her abdomen hurts as he violently jabs it with his finger.

“Any pain over here?” asked Dr. Alden as he applied brutal pokes with his outstretched index finger to Parsons’ stomach. “Let me know if you feel anything!”

Sources in the medical office confirm that Dr. Alden just wants to make sure everything in there is working properly and looking good.

“How ‘bout now?” inquired Dr. Alden as he shifted his vigorous prodding further to the left, before reverting to punching Parsons’ stomach with his entire fist as she screwed her face up in excruciating pain. “Still feel okay?”

At press time, Dr. Alden rammed a tongue depressor down Parsons’ throat while inquiring if she was experiencing any throat pain.

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