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The Brown Noser

Don't Ever Meet Your Heroes, Because They Will Punch You In The Face

Published Friday, December 4th, 2015

This summer one of my personal heroes, Jennifer Lawrence, was filming her new movie just down the street from my house. Every once in a while during breaks from filming she would sign autographs for the crowd of fans outside her trailer. I was nervous to actually meet someone in person that I had idolized from afar for so long, but eventually I decided it was too good an opportunity to pass up. I waited around for almost two hours, then when I approached her for her autograph, she punched me in the face!

I saw J-Law’s interview with Jimmy Fallon and I thought she was so funny and honest. But in person she was shy, didn’t crack any jokes, and sucker-punched me straight in the jaw.

It turns out that superstar persona is something that they just switch on for the cameras. When you’re up near them they just want to be left alone and give you a black eye.

After being punched in the face by Jennifer Lawrence, I went across the street to get some coffee, when who should I see but Leonardo DiCaprio, another one of my all-time favorite actors. He was on his phone, so I thought I would wait until he was done with whatever he was doing. But he stayed on his phone for a while so I decided to go over and introduce myself. I went up to him and told him what a big fan I was, thinking maybe he would give me a nice nod and we could share a brief moment of genuine connection. But he just kept looking at his phone like I wasn’t there, and continued doing so right up until the moment he clocked me squarely on the nose.

It just goes to show that no matter how spontaneous and quirky your favorite celebrities may be on the screen, in real life they’re just people. People who will punch you right in the face.

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