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The freezer in the Woolley fourth floor kitchen has been reported to be emitting a foul stench despite the fact that it is very cold inside the freezer.
“It wasn’t like this at the beginning of the semester,” said freshman Angus Pullman, standing befuddled on his brown shag carpet which had started out as white. “It seems to defy the known laws of the universe. I’ve always assumed that the freezer sort of permanently prevents food from smelling bad. I’ve known since a very early age that cold things do not have a scent, and yet the air inside of the freezer is positively fetid. How can a freezer smell bad? It’s cold in there!”
“I’ve racked my brain about what could have caused this phenomenon,” continued Pullman, absently picking at the Chinese takeout which had been sitting on his desk for eight days. “The initial thought from my non-sleuthing peers was that my open Tupperware of marinating chicken from February was the source. However, I quickly ruled this out because of course food does not smell bad when it is cold. This is a real mind-bender. I’m puzzled.”
At press time, Pullman’s sheets were getting crusty even though he usually took a shower before bed.
