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The Brown Noser

Dove For Men Rebrands to Bloodthirsty Hawk For Men

Published Friday, November 3rd, 2017

Explaining at a press conference that modern men desire more grit and violence on their cleaning products, representatives from Unilever announced that Dove Men+Care is rebranding into Bloodthirsty Hawk for Men.

The product launch began with a series of sequential slides reading, “NOT A DOVE. A HAWK. A BLOODTHIRSTY, CARNIVOROUS BIRD OF PREY. FOR MEN.”

“The Dove brand, while credible, has a very tender, gentle, and soft appeal,” the company’s Chief Communications Officer, Rebecca Haverty, said on Thursday. “Bloodthirsty Hawk for Men evokes the aggressive cleanliness that our male consumers want.”

The transition includes a logo modification from the well-known white mourning dove to a midflight hawk, backgrounded by flames, grasping a blood-soaked American flag in its beak.

“We’re done with all that weak-ass hygienic, wholesome imagery. We give men what they want—more dirt,” Haverty added.
Bloodthirsty Hawk for Men’s debut includes personal care items such as charcoal soap, microbead body wash, and conditioner for sensitive hair.

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