Partly Cloudy, 64°
Ozians report that the Wicked Witch of the West, Elphaba, is embarking on a bold new mission: defining gravity.
“I received this letter telling me it was ‘time to try defining gravity?’ Finally!” Elphaba explained, flipping through a physics textbook and a pocket dictionary simultaneously. “Too late for second-guessing–I’ve already bought a lab coat.”
“I’m through accepting limits,” she continued, chalking equations on a broomstick. “Because someone says they’re so. And by someone, I mean Newton. And he’s been dead for years, so frankly, I think it’s fair game.”
“Unlimited. My future is… unlimited,” Elphaba added, scrawling out variables as she prepared to launch a flying monkey along a parabolic arc. “Also my error margin. It is very unlimited.”
At press time, Glinda, recently diagnosed with ADHD, had accidentally floated into restricted airspace after forgetting she was in a bubble.
