Sources report that area freshman Douglas Reed is tightening his suspenders, shining his brand-new shoes, and polishing a big red apple for his first day of class.
“Golly gee, I sure am looking forward to my very first day,” said Reed, combing his hair into a slick middle part. “I do hope Mr. or Mrs. Teacher likes apples!”
“I wonder if the boys and girls will be assigned desks alphabetically, or in order of our birthdays,” considered Reed, adjusting his round wire-frame glasses and pulling a cable-knit sweater over his spiffy suspenders. “Heavens to Betsy, I suppose I am a little nervous!”
“So long, sport!” said Reed, ruffling his loyal dog Spot’s fur as he prepared to march out the door. “Ma, I’ll be home before supper!”
At press time, Reed was asking his professor if he could earn extra credit by staying after class to clean the blackboard erasers.