Thursday, June 29, 2017
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The Brown Noser

Ear, Nose, Throat Doctor Confident In His Ability To Tell Difference Between Those Three

Published Friday, March 17th, 2017

Successful ear, nose, and throat doctor Andrew Reitman asserted on Friday that the most challenging aspect of knowing about ears, noses, and throats is being able to tell them apart, sources report.

“Ears, noses, and throats are far from similar," Reitman told reporters, “and since I cannot reasonably expect all my patients to understand this as fully as I do, I try to make the subject less nuanced when explaining it."

Reitman’s patients often hear him refer to ears as “noise holes” in an effort to keep them distinct from the mouth, which Reitman insists is easier to call “the chomp-chomp cavern” when explaining it to those who aren’t medically trained.

“I went to Dr. Reitman to ask about my throat,” said former patient Neil Blomstrom, “but he insisted that I refer to it as the ‘tongue-pit’ until I was absolutely sure I understood what a throat was, and why it wasn’t an ear or nose”. This practice has forced many patients to consider whether Reitman’s knowledge of ears, noses and throats extends past a proudly firm grasp on why one isn’t the other.

At press time, Reitman was reading the most recent scientific studies to make sure his concepts of the ear, nose, and throat were completely up-to-date.

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