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This morning, the University’s Department of Public Safety announced that its police dog, Elvy, would be stepping down.
The announcement comes after reports surfaced that Elvy had been involved in inappropriate conduct. “Unfortunately, Elvy did not meet the standards we wish our staff to uphold,” said DPS Chief Michael White, referring to unconfirmed reports that Elvy was seen humping a pedestrian’s leg on the Main Green.
“The K9 unit aims to facilitate strong relationships between public safety personnel and Brown students, faculty, staff, and neighbors,” said White. “Unfortunately the relationship Elvy attempted to facilitate was a little too strong.” Elvy is now the second DPS animal to resign in disgrace, following Marty the chimpanzee’s dismissal in 2022.
“We also would like to publicly apologize to the student whose leg she made her… advances on,” White added. “Such behavior absolutely does not represent DPS or its values.”
At press time, the new police snake seems to have gotten off on the wrong foot with students.
