Sunday, October 25, 2020
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The Brown Noser

Emotionally Distant Boyfriend Now Socially Distant As Well

Published Friday, September 25th, 2020

In the midst of the pandemic, local boyfriend Mark Stebbens has become not only emotionally distant but also socially distant, his girlfriend reported.

“He’s never really been one for talking about how he feels, and now that we can’t get together, things are a little awkward between us,” said Stebbens’ girlfriend, Lisa Kowalsky. “I mean, all we do is FaceTime and talk on the phone. But every time we talk, it’s just me telling him about my life and him saying ‘that sucks’ every five minutes.”

“We’re trying to watch more movies together. He has a lot of opinions about Inception,” said Lisa, struggling to remember a single intimate conversation with Mark. “Actually, that was the most passionate I’ve heard him get over anything.”

“I didn’t realize how physical our relationship was before,” stated Lisa, as she googled “movies for guys.” “I miss the days when we could mindlessly make out in his basement while his parents were upstairs.”

When asked how he felt about being apart from his girlfriend, Mark replied, “Huh? It’s ok, I guess.”

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