When asked to comment on Brown’s new Engineering Research Center, engineering student Matthew Kay reportedly shrugged his shoulders and mumbled something about a Materials Science midterm before walking away, apparently unaware he was in a new building.

“Yeah I guess I heard about them doing some renovations,” said Kay, too busy trying to finish a problem set that’s due at midnight to realize the walls around him were now made of glass and he was surrounded by state-of-the-art design equipment. “But I’m swamped with midterms and work for my lab so I don’t have time to stay up to date with any of that stuff."

“None of students have even noticed,” construction site director Bill Meeks said. “Everyone’s so focused on their work that they still think they’re in Barus and Holley. And we spent a lot of time landscaping, but it’s clear these students are never going to spend time outside."

At press time, students were spotted still entering the building through the basement.

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