Sources present at Stevie’s 10th birthday bash indicate that the entire funness of the birthday party was riding on Stevie making quick work of this piñata.
“Things have been going amazing. So far…” said Stevie’s mom, Betsy Seabert, recognizing that if Stevie can’t swiftly hack this piñata to pieces, the entire party will totally blow, and Stevie’s birthday will be irrevocably ruined. “My fingers are tightly crossed.”
“Stevie is going to fondly remember this day for the rest of his life. Unless…” added Seabert, making an obvious allusion to the fact that if Stevie fails to briskly turn this piñata into a pile of shredded confetti, it will not only make the whole party absolutely stink, he may take the memory of a horrible 10th birthday party with him to his grave. “We’re just praying he chops that thing up.”
“When we get that piñata out, things are going to get crazy. So long as…” Seabert continued, aware that if Stevie doesn’t blow this piñata to smithereens and fast, people are going to be scrambling to get out of there as fast as they can. “We need this now more than ever.”
At press time, the entire sorrowfulness of Great Aunt Mimi’s funeral was riding on it being rainy and overcast.

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