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The Brown Noser

Entire Team Infects Themselves with Cancer to Support Bald Teammate

Published Friday, May 3rd, 2013

In a moving display of team spirit and friendship, the entire Barrington High School Eagles baseball team revealed to bald shortstop Todd Carpenter that they had infected themselves with various forms of incurable cancers.

“When we saw what was happening to you, Todd, we knew we had to step up,” explained chemo-wracked coach Bob Riggle. “That’s why we’re covered in all these scars from our cancer surgeries.”

“Now I’m bald and I have a bunch of dying friends,” said Carpenter, overjoyed.

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