Partly Cloudy, 64°
Upon finishing his essay at 4 AM, junior Mark Vellispedes decided that it was either completely unreadable or actually some of his better work.
“You know, for something I wrote really late at night, I don’t think it’s too bad,” stated Vellispedes as he quickly glanced over the eight pages he’d pulled an all-nighter to write. “On the other hand, I can’t understand any of what I wrote, so there’s a real chance that none of my sentences make sense and all of my words are gibberish.”
“I definitely make a good point on page three about the importance of community,” said Vellispedes as he downed the last of the Diet Coke that had kept him up awake. “It’s actually kind of insightful. But also, I tried to use the word ‘fluctuately,’ and I don’t think that’s real English. And I’m pretty sure I was supposed to include a bibliography, but there’s no way I’m doing that now.”
At press time, Vellispedes had decided to turn in his paper without proofreading it because it was due five hours ago.
