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The Brown Noser

Everyone In CVS Watching Woman Crash And Burn At Self Checkout Register

Published Friday, December 9th, 2016

According to eyewitnesses at the Thayer Street CVS last Tuesday night, area woman Annabelle Lincoln really crashed and burned at the self checkout register.

“I thought using the machine would save time since I only had two items,” explained Lincoln. “But my bottle of conditioner wouldn’t scan no matter what speed or direction I slid it in. And then the line started getting longer and I started feeling under pressure. I panicked, okay?”

Sources estimate that Lincoln was at the register for upwards of eight minutes. During that time, she was unable to successfully follow any of the system’s voice automated commands and her attempts to swipe her items became increasingly frantic.

“It was kind of tragic seeing her try to make eye contact with the real cashier for help,” said Mark Lauren, voicing the thoughts of many of the customers in line behind Lincoln. “The machine kept telling her to put each item in a bag before scanning the next one and she kept explaining — out loud to the machine — that she didn’t need a bag. She should have just cut her losses and used the bag but I think by that point it was a matter of pride.”

“Then, when she made it to the checkout step and we think she’s in the clear, she pulls out a coupon and tries to use it. What a disaster,” Lauren added.

At press time, the cashier was calling for assistance over the intercom.

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