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The Brown Noser

Everyone In First Floor of Rock Taking A Break to Talk With Friends

Published Friday, March 9th, 2018

Explaining that none of the seventy-four students are studying, sources report that everyone in the first floor study area of the Rock is taking a break to talk with friends.

“Nobody here has been studying for at least the last hour,” said Sophomore Kerry Andrews, who is standing at a friend’s table talking with them. “No one. Even the people on computers are messaging their friends who are either at the same table or the table next to them.”

Although most of the students are whispering quietly to a nearby friend, four are walking in wide loops around the first floor, seven are reading the writing on the basement whiteboard beside the water fountain, and another nine are talking in the lobby.

Sources added that the students in the glass study rooms are laughing absurdly loud and everyone can hear them.

By evening, every student was frustrated by how little work they had completed.

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