Today at 8:00 a.m. “just about everything” below the equator fell down into space. According to officials, the most probable cause of the extra-atmospheric landslide is the upside-down nature of the Southern Hemisphere. All physical beings and settlements on Antarctica, Australia, nine-tenths of South America, the southern third of Africa, the South Atlantic Ocean, Indian Ocean, South Pacific Ocean and most of Oceania are floating around in the vacuous space just outside the earth’s atmosphere. The number of deaths is currently unknown, but NASA estimates somewhere around “half the earth." “This is nothing but a tragedy, and my thoughts and prayers are with the families of the victims,” said President Obama at a somber press conference held today. “That said, I can’t say we didn’t see this one coming. I mean, everything down there is upside-down. Sorta makes sense.”

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