Partly Cloudy, 64°
Sources report that the expanding chaos on sophomore Laurie Tung’s desk is starting to look intellectual. “Stuff has been piling up here for a while, but at this point it’s honestly looking pretty scholarly,” said Tung, realizing that the accumulating books, papers, pens, and trash on her desk were crossing the threshold from messy to the hallmarks of a scattered but brilliant mind. “As far as anyone can tell, I could be knee-deep in research, buried in the annals of human thought. I could be an enigmatic savant, shunning the world and confining myself to my ponderings here at this hallowed desk. Who can blame me for the clutter?” At press time, Tung was buying a little hourglass, just to really top things off.
