According to squinting sources, sophomore Barry Fenton’s fake ID looks super real except for the name, age, address, photo, and texture.
“It’s almost perfect,” Fenton said proudly, trying his very best to look the part of a 26-year-old named Broderich Plumlet-Manterfield. “My buddy from North Dakota says it looks just like a real North Dakota ID!"
“The ID picture looks pretty good too,” Fenton added, pointing at an over- exposed photo of a boy who only vaguely resembles him. “Especially if I’m wearing glasses or a hood that covers most of my face.”
“It works like 40% of the time,” Fenton continued, slightly bending the ID and creating a permanent crease down the middle. “If the lighting is super low or the bouncer isn’t really paying attention, I guarantee I can get in just about anywhere.”
At press time, Fenton was seen wearing a gray wig and mustache to try to get a senior discount.

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