Admitting his surprise that the expedition was spent successfully killing animals rather than just crouching in bushes, area father Greg Matchers came home on Tuesday deeply disturbed by his son’s natural hunting talent.

“I was hoping we’d get one deer on the last day, but that was a serious underestimation of Luke’s ability,” Matchers said in disbelief as he recounted how comfortable his son’s finger sat on the rifle trigger. “The first time he had the animal in his scope he didn’t hesitate for a moment before sending a bullet straight between the deer’s eyes. I didn’t have time to whisper a word of advice or offer a meditation about what it meant to take a life. Now that I think about it, I don’t think he said more than a couple words the entire trip.”

“Dad, I got another one!” Luke reportedly shouted as his father watched from the bushes, completely expressionless.

Matchers told reporters that he obediently followed Luke while he tracked the animals he would then kill by himself, held the carcasses while Luke expertly skinned them for meat, and eventually stopped trying to shoot out of fear that he’d disrupt his son.

“I don’t know how we go forward from here,” Matchers murmured.

At press time, Luke was seen hanging antlers on his bedroom wall while his father watched nervously from the doorway.

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