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The Brown Noser

Fed Announces Five-Dollar Bills Now Wild

Published Wednesday, May 9th, 2012

In a press conference on Tuesday, Federal Reserve Chair Ben Bernanke announced that beginning May 15, the Federal Reserve will accept five-dollar bills as wildcards that can stand in for any amount of money. “Fives can now be played as tens or fifties or even still as fives if you like,” said Bernanke. “The point is partly to make the flow of cash more fluid but also partly just to shake the economy up and make people want to play again. The bottom line is wildcards are fun.” He added that if the strategy fails, the Reserve might consider pursuing the more drastic “ones high” policy or instituting an entirely new system in which Canadian money is trump.

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