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Mattel recently made waves by announcing that their newest Barbie, Feudal England Barbie, would come equipped with her own butter churner and stillborn child.
“Barbie has historically been defined as the undefinable: she is a doctor, a vet, a model, an astronaut! Continuing her defiance of tradition, now she finds herself stuck in feudal England, equipped with only a churner and her infant, tragically born too soon,” announced Mattel CEO Ynon Kreiz as he displayed the haggard looking doll, clothed in rags and smudged with dirt.
“Feudal England Barbie can do it all,” Kreiz continued, displaying Feudal England Barbie’s permanent lockjaw feature. “She can brew mead, she can bloodlet, and she can even make squirrel meat stew. She definitely can’t read or write, though.”
“Nothing can stop Feudal England Barbie,” Kreiz went on, “even cholera can’t keep her down! She keeps getting it but she survives every time.”
At press time, Mattel announced the upcoming release of Child Labor Barbie.
