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The Brown Noser

Film Critic Claiming Horror Movie Was About Grief Clearly Missed The Scary Monster That Kills People

Published Friday, March 15th, 2024

Recent comments from a film critic about a horror movie’s themes of grief clearly show he missed the scary monster that kills people.

“The film expertly delivers a heart-wrenching display of the grief and guilt of losing a loved one,” said film critic Brendon Moutes, completely missing the grotesque, man-devouring swamp monster that the movie was clearly about. “If one were to take a deeper look beyond the fantastical horror elements, they will appreciate the subtle yet beautifully crafted dialogue and sound design of this film.”

“The details around the accident that claimed the life of the main character’s spouse are purposefully left ambiguous to make you question the reliability and trustworthiness of the protagonist’s memories,” continued the critic, oblivious to the fact that the terrifying monster, with its many eyes and spasming tentacles, was way more important to the story than some car crash. “It’s a brilliantly crafted narrative hidden behind a rather conventional horror setting.”

“And the monster, while scary looking, is eventually revealed to be nothing more than a manifestation of the protagonist’s own anger and sadness surrounding her loss,” concluded Moutes, who clearly didn’t pay attention to every scene that the scaly swamp terror was in. “It’s a rather convoluted way of showing how people process grief, but a keen eye for detail will let you see past the illusion of the monster.”

At press time, a history professor explaining the nuances of the American Revolution clearly missed the part about the British being evil bullies who tried taxing our freedom.

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