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The Brown Noser

Final Book Of Series To Be Split Into 3,200 Movies

Published Friday, December 5th, 2014

Fans of the popular “Legends of Aramor” series won’t have to say goodbye as early as they thought they would. Warner Brothers, the production company behind the first 18 of the “Aramor” movies, has decided to split the last book of the series into 3,200 separate installments with a collective budget of $640 billion.

“There’s simply too much story to fit into one or two thousand movies,” said Executive Producer Kate Thompkins of the 230-page series finale. “’The Shadow Imposition’ is a great book, and we’d be doing a disservice to our fans if we didn’t give it at least several thousand hours of screen time. There’s a lot there.”

The series of young-adult novels follows the teenage Aranya, Princess-Protector of Aramor, through her struggles navigating her oncoming adulthood and her struggle with ancient evil. Several hundred movies will be dedicated to exploring each of the various storylines established in the previous installments.

Sources inside the production report that ‘The Shadow Imposition Part I’ is set to cover the first few sentences of Aranya’s confrontation with the Witch-Queen Garnack, while in ‘Part II," she will read a few pages of a book. ’Part MMMCLXXVI’ will reportedly have her looking at a boy.

“I just want to see if she ends up with Morthar the Rogue or High Prince Elio!” said one frustrated fan, while another expressed the hope that “more time will mean they’re less likely to mess up the books. They always mess up the books.”

“There’s just so much detail to the world of Aramor,” said Director Christie Macmillan, who has signed on for another 170 years with Warner Brothers. “I’m excited to get a chance to spend just a little bit longer there.”

Thompkins cited the studio’s responsibility to the author, respect for the franchise fans, the trillions of dollars to be made from box office and merchandise sales, and her desire to let the characters breathe as the major factors in the decision.

One installment will be released every year over the next three and a quarter millennia, with pauses only for forecasted nuclear wars.

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