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The Brown Noser

Final Unexpectedly Hard For Girl Who Hasn’t Been to Class the Whole Semester

Published Friday, May 12th, 2023

Despite never attending class this semester, reports indicate Marissa Lance found the final unexpectedly hard.

“Yeah, I don’t know any of this stuff,” said Lance trying to remember which lab section she was in, “to be honest I thought this was going to be mostly true or false questions. I did do the first discussion post, so it’s a little unfair that I don’t even know the first question.”

“When I opened the textbook for the first time yesterday, I didn’t understand anything,” said Lance after turning in her final. “How am I supposed to do well if I can’t even cram the night before? It’s definitely looking bleak right now, but I doubt anyone could memorize an entire textbook over the course of one night.”

At press time, Lance was seen feeling hungry after skipping lunch.

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