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According to friends in one freshman friend group, the first birthday party has set an impossible precedent for all future birthdays.
“I spent about ten hours planning the murder mystery to go along with the Agatha Christie theme, which was in addition to the two hours that everyone spent decorating the common room,” recalls Samantha Haye, the unofficial party coordinator who was sending thank you emails to the magician, clown, and Nixon impersonator that she had hired for the party. “It was a lot of work, but I was so happy to do it because I know that David would do the same for my birthday in April.”
“I’m not too happy about having to chip in $20 to get David a new tv,” complained Charlie Brogan, who was sitting alone in his undecorated dorm common room with a single Ratty cupcake for his birthday, which was the day after David’s. “And now everyone’s all birthday’d out so they especially don’t want to chip in to get me anything.”
At press time, friends with summer birthdays are just going to settle for three Instagram stories.
