Fourth grade sources from Marjorie Slege Elementary School recently reported that their history curriculum was placing a ton of emphasis on cornucopias. “Cornucopias are alright, I guess, though I’m not totally sure why we’re drawing six of them every day,” said fourth grader Lanie Botluck, who was reportedly enduring two full weeks dedicated to exploring every detail of the twisty Horn of Plenty. “Last week Mrs. Samson had us make paper-mache cornucopias, which was cool. Seems like these symbols of abundance and nourishment are very important things that I’m going to encounter a lot in the world.” At press time, a nearby science class was spending most of its time on anacondas.

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