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The Brown Noser

Frat Rush Involves Silly Icebreaker, Homoerotically Murdering Moose

Published Friday, March 15th, 2024

Recent reports reveal that Sigma Theta Delta’s rush process involves fun activities such as a silly icebreaker game, recording an embarrassing video, and homoerotically murdering a moose.

“It really caught me off guard. In the first round, they just gathered us in an auditorium and asked us to introduce ourselves in a unique way,” explained Byron Jameson ‘27, a prospective member of Sigma Theta Delta. “Then we played a chill game of pong. But now they’re asking us to homoerotically murder a moose.”

“Do they provide the moose? Are there even any moose near Providence?,” asked Jameson, exasperated and juggling the moral implications of becoming a Sigma Theta Delta brother and ending a moose’s life. “How do you even murder it homoerotically?”

At press time, selected pledges were undertaking fun activities such as finishing an entire family pack of Cheetos and sawing off their own leg.

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