Thursday, April 9, 2020
Partly Cloudy icon Partly Cloudy, 64°

The Brown Noser

Free Teddy Bears, Hot Cocoa, Threat of Violence At Next DPS Event

Published Friday, December 6th, 2019

At an event hosted by the Brown University Department of Public Safety next Thursday, students will be able to receive a variety of free items, including teddy bears, hot cocoa, and reminders of the violence that DPS officers are capable of inflicting at any moment.

The event, the latest of several DPS giveaways taking place throughout the semester, promises to be both fun and educational. Students will be able to browse safety information pamphlets, eat baked goods, and strike up conversations with several DPS officers, all of whom are equipped to physically take down anyone they deem to be a threat.

There will also be a raffle, during which one lucky student will receive a down pillow emblazoned with the text “Brown DPS,” the policeman emoji, and the 100 emoji. In addition, students may pick up free teddy bears, each of which will sport a DPS T-shirt, a sheriff’s badge, and a realistic miniature firearm — just like the ones carried by all patrolling DPS officers.

“It’s a good way for us to connect with the student body,” said DPS officer Jeremy Taylor, who, like all DPS officers, is part of an institution that has been plagued historically by abuses of power. “We’ll have cookies and hot chocolate, so come grab a snack and talk to us about campus safety!”

Weather permitting, this giveaway will be held on the Main Green. Should it rain, the event will instead take place inside one of those patrol cars that lurk around ominously at night.

Article tools

Search The Brown Noser

  • Loading…