Partly Cloudy, 64°
“Between the scary costumes, the scary stories, and the scary, scary Halloween parties, I’m quaking in my boots!” said Dinkins. “How can I concentrate on my classes when I’m so scared?”
Raul Dinkins ’17 reported that he is finding it difficult to concentrate on his studies in the week leading up to Halloween because he is just too spooked.
There is no escape from the general spookiness of the season, explained Dinkins. “What with Fright Fest at Sigma on Thursday, AEPi’s Monster Bash on Friday, and my buddy Greg’s haunted house all weekend, I’ll be scared stiff,” he said. “Usually Brown’s pretty calm. But this week it’s terrifying!”
Added Dinkins, “I wouldn’t have planned to do my essay this week if I’d known it’d be so spooktacular.”
Dinkins has been unable to find respite from the season’s terror. Between Halloween-themed Ratty decorations, Halloween-themed questions on quirky professors’ problem sets, and the scary pumpkin background on the Google home page, the freshman finds himself far too petrified to focus on research papers and problem sets. He reported that the proliferation of ghost costumes has left him chilled to the core.
“I was hoping to catch up on Orgo last Thursday,” he said. “But between spooky serials and a spooky special episode of ‘Dance Moms?’ By 4 p.m. I was already spooked!”
“I’m starting to worry about Raul,” said Dinkins’s roommate Tyler Hannigan. “I’ve never seen anyone get this spooked this frequently. I think he really needs help.”
As of press time, Dinkins was realizing that he would not be able to get any work done on November 1st either because it’s All Saints Day and he will be too reverent to focus.
