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Following weeks of deliberation, Kevin Rodgers ’15 has come to the conclusion that it would probably be a bad idea to ask his girlfriend of three weeks what her name was again. He did, however, express optimism that if he happened to hear it one more time, it would definitely stick. “I’m not really an auditory guy,” he said. “It usually takes me until the third time to remember a name.”
Rodgers met his beau at a party during orientation, where he presumably heard her name for the first time. After hitting it off, the pair began to text each other frequently. Unfortunately, her name is stored in Rodgers’ phone as “girl from hope with big tits.”
In response to this blunder, Rodgers explained that he was not going to save the number under a name he wouldn’t remember. “That being said, I know who the girl from Hope with the big tits is,” he said.
When things started getting serious, Rodgers became increasingly uncomfortable in the situation. He said he had forgotten “tons” of names during Orientation, but this one felt more important. He had planned on asking her, but then she “freaked out” when he admitted that he thought she was from California. Her harsh response that she was from Kentucky made it clear that she wouldn’t be cool with Rodgers’ inability to recall her name.
Rodgers devised several attempts to ascertain her name, all of which have been unsuccessful. Last week, as she was showering, he fumbled through her purse looking for her Brown ID. She returned, however, before he could fully sort through her artifacts. More recently, he has taken to constantly introducing her to friends, but that is proving just as fruitless.
Rodgers tried the technique with his hall mate Evan Richards ’15. “Oh man! That’s what [Kevin] was doing?” said Richards after being informed of the ploy. “I didn’t want to be all up in their business, so I just left it alone.”
