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The Brown Noser

Freshman Dismayed To Find Bed Still Warm From Pre-College Kid

Published Friday, September 22nd, 2023

Dampening the mood during an otherwise exciting move-in day, freshman Charlie Manx was dismayed to find that their bed was still warm from the pre-college kid who slept there all summer.

“I laid down to take a load off after moving all my stuff in, but the bed was warm to the touch,” said Manx, immersed in the lingering body heat of a 16-year-old from New Jersey. “All I could think about was whoever had come before me.”

“I run warm at night anyway, so this really isn’t good for my sleep schedule,” added Manx, lying in the balmy pre-college-kid shaped groove that had been worked into his mattress over the summer. “I can’t even read in bed anymore because my glasses fog up.”

At press time, a professor was dismayed to find her seat still warm from a guest lecturer.

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