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Since freshman orientation began, every time Garrett Epstein ‘16 meets a new person, he subsequently imagines the four-year trajectory of their friendship at Brown University.
Upon making the acquaintance of classmate Allison Blake ’16, he immediately envisioned the next four years of their relationship.
“I’ve only just met Allison,” remarked Epstein. “But already I can tell that we would initially bond over our love of Arrested Development, then date briefly before deciding to be friends because she’s going through some stuff with her brother getting addicted to prescription pain medication, go through an awkward phase during our junior year where we rarely speak because she’s once again super distracted by her brother’s chronic drug abuse problem and plus I’m studying abroad in Egypt, then finally reunite our senior year by re-bonding over the release of the Arrested Development movie which we would see together because we’d remember how we originally bonded over the series all those years ago and man time sure does fly but some inside jokes never die like the one we’ll have about South Pacific, or SisQó, or cut-off denim shorts pockets that extend beyond the cut-off part.”
When asked for her opinion of Epstein’s vision of the next four years of their friendship, Blake remarked, “That’s totally crazy, I only just met this guy.”
She added, “Then again, that’s classic Garrett, always looking ahead. Too bad he dies right before graduation by choking on a frozen Uncrustable from Jo’s. Man, I really liked that guy.”
