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The Brown Noser

Freshman Looking Forward To Going Home And Putting A Spin On Academically And Socially Disappointing First Semester

Published Friday, December 9th, 2016

Sources report that, after a disappointing first semester, freshman Tyler Adams is looking forward to going home and putting a positive spin on his time at Brown.

“Here, I can’t hide that I had a lackluster semester but, at home, I can rewrite history.,” said Adams. “No one needs to know that I haven’t worked up the courage to go to any of my professor’s office hours yet. Or that I haven’t gotten a Brown Bears Admirer.”

“I think people from my high school are suspicious I didn’t make any friends since no one tagged me in any pictures on Facebook,” he explained. “I’m just going to tell them that I in fact have a bunch of new friends. It’s just that all of the pictures we have together are of us at some really crazy parties and I don’t want my family to see those on Facebook.”

Adams went on to say that his parents have already been asking why he hasn’t gotten involved with any of the extracurriculars he did in high school. Instead of admitting he didn’t get into mock trial or a cappella, Adams is planning on saying he just isn’t involved because he wanted to get used to the new environment before over committing himself the first semester.

“I’m gonna have to get more creative with explaining that I’m not any closer to knowing what I want to concentrate in or do,” said Adams. “I think I can pull it off by saying ENGN 9 really had an impact on me. Maybe I’ll even bring up one of the case studies and say that’s what I want to get involved with after college”

At press time, Adams was telling his family that taking classes S/NC was an important part of the Brown education and it was perfectly in line with the Open Curriculum that he took three out of four classes that way.

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