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The Brown Noser

Freshman Probably Going To Stumble Upon Ivy Room Pretty Soon

Published Friday, December 1st, 2017

Explaining that he has heard about it but hasn’t bothered asking where it is, sources close to freshman Alex Sandhurst report that he will probably stumble upon the Ivy Room pretty soon. “He keeps saying he’s sick of Jo’s and wants healthier food,” reported fellow freshman Sarah Porter, who added that Sandhurst feels that the Ratty closes too early. “He even knows that there’s a dining hall under the Ratty, but figured it’s just for faculty or seniors or something. He’ll find it soon and he’ll go out of his mind when he walks in for the first time and realizes they have tacos.” When reached for comment, Sandhurst was trying to make avocado toast in the Ratty.

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