Partly Cloudy, 64°
Freshman stunned during orientation week ice-breaker by “two truths and a lie” revelation that roommate has not one dog but two.
“I really could not believe it – I was convinced he only had one dog” exclaimed freshman Sebastian Reyes, taken aback by the realization that his roommate grew up with a Siberian Husky in addition to his French Bulldog. “I mean, you really think you know a guy after a few text message exchanges and one dinner at the V Dub. Well, let me tell you something people – you clearly don’t.”
“Obviously I knew he had seen Dear Evan Hansen on Broadway four times because no one makes that shit up” continued Reyes, as he engaged in a moral dilemma about whether he would ever regain trust in his roommate following the revelation of his second dog. “But every part of me truly believed the lie was that he has two brothers. I could’ve sworn I saw a photo of a sister on his Instagram feed before. Well, goes to show how much I know.”
At press time, another orientation group was providing the most boring, mundane prompts for “Never Have I Ever.”
