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The Brown Noser

Freshman Talking To Senior Like Senior About To Die

Published Friday, May 12th, 2023

Sources report that freshman Josie Watts was talking to senior Anika Bhatt as if Anika was about to die.

“I can’t believe it’s almost your time to leave us behind,” a tearful Watts was overheard saying, looking upon Bhatt with a wistful fondness. “I’ll never forget the memories we had together while you were with us. Are you ready to go? To move on to that great beyond – your new job in Connecticut?”

“It’s really made me realize how much I’ve taken my youth for granted, and the years I’ll have to enjoy on College Hill,” continued a pensive Watts as she lingered over a black and white photograph of Bhatt. “It seems like only yesterday you were frolicking on the Main Green, knocking back Spicy Withs, laughing and loving in the Blue Room. And now you’re being sent to farm upstate…in Fairfield County to teach at a rural high school.

At press time, Watts was seen reminding Bhatt to not go gentle into that good night of rural Connecticut.

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