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The Brown Noser

Friday Night PowerPoint Party Devolves Into Full-On Google Sheets Orgy

Published Friday, October 29th, 2021

Sources report that what began as a fun little Friday night PowerPoint party has devolved into a full-on Google Sheets orgy.

“I don’t really know what happened,” said senior Ronan Fitzgerald, who hosted the event. “One minute someone was delivering a little presentation on which High School Musical characters should’ve ended up with each other, and then somebody smashed a beer can on their forehead and started shouting about how Sheets has conditional formatting that allows you to highlight outliers in your data, and now things are just out of control.”

The hosts of the event attempted to keep control as partygoers whipped themselves into an orgiastic frenzy of ImportHTML functions, sparklines, and checkbox columns.

“It’s gonna be really hard to rein things back in,” said Fitzgerald, as partiers opened another handle of vodka and began debating the merits of the Command-forward slash shortcut. “I heard that someone mentioned Excel at the door and got thrown out.”

At press time, a ‘60s-themed tie-dye party was quickly devolving into a late ‘50s-themed anti-Communist witch hunt.

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