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While he knows everyone is really excited about it, Christopher Hopkins ’14 just really doesn’t think this is a good idea, guys.
The junior, whose friends have recently come up with a plan for the remainder of the evening, has voiced his concern that it might actually not be the best idea and that maybe they shouldn’t do it, you know?
“Look, everyone, I don’t want to be that guy,” Hopkins remarked to friends, “but we should probably think this through.” The suggestion quickly came under fire by Allen Mimms ’14, who pointed out Hopkins’ prior history of being “that guy” throughout their two-year friendship. According to Mimms, Hopkins has consistently threatened to ruin great nights out by worrying about things, like that night they did the thing with the tire, or the time when they made the snowman out of pizza.
“I’m just wondering if there isn’t something less dangerous and more fun to do tonight. You know what I mean, guys?” asked Hopkins.
He added, “Guys?”
Hopkins, who is standing at a safe, non-commital distance from the rest of the group, just wants to know if all of his friends have considered the fact that they’re a little bit inebriated and that they may not be capable of making the best decisions right now, that’s all.
“Hey, let’s just go to Jo’s. Jo’s is great,” he suggested to the group. “You guys love Jo’s! Remember how much fun Jo’s can be? Guys? Come on, guys.”
“Sure, it’s impractical, risky, and more than slightly, dangerous, but I really think this will be fun!” said Mark Bellam ‘13, who Hopkins believes may be leading them to their doom. "Relax, Hopkins, it’s college. We’re supposed to do this kind of crazy stuff."
Hopkins was last seen dragging his feet 20 paces behind the group, looking over his shoulder, and trying to feign the symptoms of sudden onset stomach flu.
