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In an incredible display of semester deferral, local acquaintance Amy Mills has somehow become the sole member of the class of 2023.375.
“I’m a 0.75nd semester sophomore,” said Mills in a section introduction, pronouncing her semester level against all laws of the standard English language. “I’m like a juniomore, or a sophior!”
Mills was able to change her graduation year so many times that it eventually averaged out to its current year. However, Brown has made it clear that 2023.375 is merely an approximation for a number that is immeasurable and essentially unknowable.
“Last year, I took half a semester off, I skipped Wednesdays, and I took a long weekend back in April,” continued Mills, explaining the origin of her unique grad year and her clearly self-made Brown 2023.375 t-shirt. “I was originally class of ~2023, and then I was 2023.5 up to 90% significance, and then I settled on 2023.375, which has a bunch more decimals but Brown said it couldn’t be an irrational number.”
At press time, Brown’s math department discovered that Mills’ solo graduation should theoretically take place at exactly 8:15-8:30 AM on November 12th, 2023.
