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The Brown Noser

Friend Taking VISA 0100 Literally Can’t Talk Right Now Because She Has Drawing Of Soda Can Due Tomorrow

Published Friday, March 11th, 2022

Rushing across campus with a massive sketchbook tucked under her arm, VISA 0100 student Anna Hilado absolutely cannot talk right now because she has a drawing of a soda can due tomorrow.

“No, like, you don’t understand. I have to draw an entire soda can by tomorrow morning,” said Hilado, quickly pushing past a friend who gave her a cordial nod and soft smile while crossing the Main Green. “It’s literally due tomorrow, and I need to draw the whole thing: the top of the can, the side of the can, the other side of the can, even the bottom. I’m so beyond screwed it’s not even funny.”

Hilado reportedly skipped three meals today and slept for five hours last night just to submit her drawing of a soda can by tomorrow’s deadline. Despite her efforts, the VISA 0100 student still has absolutely no time to chat with classmates, as she still needs to draw an oval for the lid.

“I don’t even know why I’m still talking,” added Hilado, disappearing into a swarm of strangers before her friend could even muster a casual greeting. “I have at least one — maybe two — more lines to draw. And they’re not just straight lines. They’re curved. I’m so fucked.”

At press time, a Theater Arts and Performance Studies concentrator had to pull a literal all-nighter because he had a facial expression due the next day.

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