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Reports indicate that area man Jake Wilson won’t stop making that ancient curse his whole personality.
“Ugh, Jake won’t shut the hell up about the 4,000 year-old demon that follows him everywhere and only he can see,” said Peri Daniels, a friend of Wilson’s. “It’s literally getting so old.”
“Like, okay, we get it, you opened some ancient enchanted sarcophagus and a malevolent spirit has been haunting you ever since,” added Daniels. “My parents are divorced. We all have baggage, dude.”
“It’s always ‘Guys, help, the demon is pulling me by my hair towards a portal to the underworld!’ and never ‘Hey, how was your day?’ or ‘Let’s go get coffee,’” said Daniels. “He really only talks about one thing, and it’s getting so old.”
“Look, he’s doing it again,” said Daniels, gesturing toward Wilson’s limp body being levitated above a table. “It was novel the first time.”
At press time, an ancient demon was wondering if he should get some new hobbies.
