Sources report that Kevin Baker, a friend with a car, has been demoted in his group hierarchy to a Downton Abbey-era chauffeur.
“My buddies used to, like, to hang out with me for me,” Baker said from the
kitchen as his friends dined in the drawing room. “But now all I hear is ‘Baker, bring the car around—we’re weekending in Newport.”
“They keep saying things like ‘I’ll need you to accompany me to the weed dispen- sary in Massachusetts on Saturday,” Baker said while warming up the engine to give his passengers a pleasant ride. “I just don’t have a life anymore outside of driving them around.”
At press time, Baker’s friends found out that he had a full kitchen and assigned him the roles of cook and scullery maid.

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