Partly Cloudy, 64°
Sources have recently indicated that your friend with a social media time limit is once again begging to bum a scroll off you.
“Hey, can I please bum a scroll off somebody? Just for a couple minutes?” pleaded your friend Sylvia, aimlessly playing with stray crumbs on the kitchen table. “My one hour TikTok allotment was somehow all gone by 1 AM today. I don’t know what to do.”
“Can I just have your phone for a sec? If I scroll on someone else’s phone, it doesn’t count. I bet your FYP is pretty similar to mine,” groveled Sylvia, instinctively opening her TikTok every five seconds before remembering her time limit was used up. “Please, I’ve worked so hard all day. Just give me this.”
“At least let me look over your shoulder while you scroll. I need to know what’s happening,” croaked Sylvia, her body twitching from the stress of living without constant visual and auditory stimulation. “So what do you say? Help a forsaken girl out? Can I bum that scroll or no?”
At press time, Sylvia’s boredom had grown so great that she was finally getting around to applying for Handshake internships.
