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The Brown Noser

Friend’s BPR Article Opened, Closed

Published Friday, October 30th, 2020

Sources report that junior Amanda Brently opened her friend’s Brown Political Review article on Chinese trade with the European Union and promptly closed it again.

“When I read the title, I was immediately impressed by the implied grasp Mark had on the subject,” said Brently of her friend’s piece, which she hadn’t even bothered to skim. “The issue was that I had no interest in the subject matter. I’m sure it was a fantastic article, though, and that people who understand international trade would probably really enjoy it.”

“That said, I’m not sure why I would ask Mark for advice on trade relations with China," said Amanda, who’d opened the article only to get rid of the notification on her phone. "If I actually wanted to learn something about trade and foreign policy, I think I would be better off just reading an article from the New York Times. You know, like, a real newspaper with journalists who are actual experts on the complex issues they’re writing about.”

“But I know that Mark probably wrote a really insightful article, and the next time I see him, I’ll be sure to tell him how insightful I found the idea of reading the article,” stated Brently after barely giving the piece a cursory glance. “I suppose that I’m just not intellectual enough to handle the profound, cutting edge content that the BPR publishes.”

At press time, Brently was saved from having to discuss Mark’s BPR article with him because he was explaining the entire piece unprompted.

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